Do not live so much as a couple that you lose your individuality. Do not make so much adjustments in a marriage to become a great couple. Because in the process of doing adjustments to become a great couple you will lose yourself.

When you lose your individuality, you lose yourself. Then you will hate yourself. You will not like the new modified you. You will be full of hate and shock. You will keep wondering ‘Am I really the person I pretend to be! And is it worth?’

No, it is not worth it. Because in a relationship, to your partner, you can only give what you have. When you are full of hate how can you give love to your partner! Yes, you can pretend to do so. But how long can you pretend to do so! You will be fed up with yourself one day and explode. Or if you have an unmatched capacity for tolerance; at most you will end up becoming a people-pleasing person.

As we all know; a people-pleasing person always leads an unhappy and miserable life. Because these people are always in compromising mode, adjustment mode. If you are one of them; every time, you will give priority to others but you will never be a priority for yourself.

Being flexible and accommodating to your partner is not wrong. It definitely helps you to look good as a couple. But not at the expense of your own self, not at the expense of your own interests, not at the expense of your own life.

Remember; two miserable persons will make marriage miserable sooner or later. Two dependent persons will make each other’s life stagnant sooner or later. They may pretend to look good as a couple because dependency looks romantic in the beginning. But in the long run, it restricts the growth as individuals.

Two independent people make marriage successful. Not only they make each other grow individually but also they become effective parents. They help each other when needed yet they respect independence. They help each other to become better.

Do not focus so much on becoming a great couple and end up losing yourself in the process. Be a better individual first; that will not only help you to become a good husband or wife, it will also help you to become better in whatever role you are: as a parent, as a brother, as a sister, as a son, as a daughter etc. So do not live so much as a couple; you will lose yourself.

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